𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐯𝐬. 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐬. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 . 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ’𝐬 𝐚 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 .
𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 .

We often throw around the word “leader” like it’s a job title.
But here’s the truth:
𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐬 . 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 . 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 .
They’re not synonyms.
They’re stages, from control to guidance to earned influence.

And only one of them is a title you 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 get to give yourself.

Let’s break down the hierarchy:

𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐬
• Uses power to control
• Prioritizes obedience
• Measures output
• Often leads with fear or ego
What it feels like: “ 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑜.”

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 (In the best case)
• Organizes and directs
• Sets goals and follows up
• Balances performance with support
• Shapes much of the daily employee experience
What it feels like: “ 𝐻𝑒𝑟𝑒 ’𝑠 𝑤𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝘩𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 – 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝘩𝑜𝑤 𝐼’𝑙𝑙
𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢.”

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
• Inspires trust – not just compliance
• Elevates others
• Models the culture
• Earns followership over time
What it feels like: “ 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 . 𝐿𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑑𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑓𝑢𝑙
𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 .”

You can be a 𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐬 by position.
A 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 by function.
But you become a 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 only when others decide you are.

You’ll notice in my posts that I use the word leader sparingly –
because not everyone in a management role has earned it yet.
Overusing it dulls its meaning. And the people experience deserves
better than that.

In my first manager role, some of my team members casually referred
to me as “boss.”
I knew they meant it generically – not in a command -and-control way,
but I still didn’t love it.

So I shared my aversion to that term and how I saw my role:
To be their voice.
To get them the resources they needed.
To help them grow.

They heard me. And they started calling me “non -boss.”
It was a small thing – but to me, it meant everything.

(They also called me “Supy,” “Walt Disney Jr.,” and, my personal
favorite, “MOM.” More on those another time.)

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 :
Reflect: Do people follow you because they have to or because they
trust you?

Ask your team what leadership looks like to them. Who in your
company models that behavior?

Start managing with empathy, not just execution, that’s how
leadership begins.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 .
Not your title. Not your intent. Not your slide deck.

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬
𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 ?